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If dictionaries were honest: Work - The only things I like are lunchtime and leaving. Sarcastic phrases...
If dictionaries were honest: School - Where you are taught how to grow cress but nothing about taxes...
If dictionaries were honest: Aunty - Like a mum but with no rules. Perfect to give that funny aunt in...
If dictionaries were honest: Biscuits - The most dangerous food item. Never in the history of mankind...
If dictionaries were honest: Shakespeare - Books i don’t understand. Does anyone actually understand...
If dictionaries were honest: Job - If you are good at your job, you get to do other peoples jobs too....
If dictionaries were honest: Taxi - If you don’t finish every taxi ride with 'anywhere here is fine thanks’...
If dictionaries were honest: Chocolate - If chocolate was meant to be put in the fridge you would find...
If dictionaries were honest: British Anxiety - 1. No tea. 2. No biscuits. 3. “Tickets please” How to...
If dictionaries were honest: Feminism - The revolutionary idea that women are equal to men. Funny quotes...
If dictionaries were honest: Uncle - Like a dad but with no rules. Perfect to give that funny uncle in...
If dictionaries were honest: Coffee - A perfect alternative to hating life and everyone in it. Funny...
If dictionaries were honest: Diet - Eating green leafy bollocks that makes you sad. Sarcastic phrases...
If dictionaries were honest: Parent - Someone who likes to remind you of all the ways you have managed...
If dictionaries were honest: Literature - A load of bollocks in old books i do not understand. Perfect...
If dictionaries were honest: Divorce - The end of an error but now you have to give up half your shit....
If dictionaries were honest: Sleep - I’m going to lie in the dark and think about all the awkward things...
If dictionaries were honest: Winter - When you can’t believe how dark it is at 4pm. Funny definitions...
If dictionaries were honest: Job Interview - A conversation where you are interrogated about your terrible...
If dictionaries were honest: Unknown Number - When an unknown number calls you, do not answer it. You...
If dictionaries were honest: Fridge - Every visit to the fridge is rewarded with a piece of cheese. It’s...
If dictionaries were honest: Adult - When you become an adult do you learn how to butter bread without...
If dictionaries were honest: Millennials - A generation of people that everyone hated until Gen Z came...
If dictionaries were honest: British Anger - 1. Microwaved tea. 2. Bread crumbs in the butter. 3. Tea...
If dictionaries were honest: Politician - A professional illusionist skilled in the art of making promises...
If dictionaries were honest: Hot Plate - When the waiter brings a hot plate and announces it’s extremely...
If dictionaries were honest: Exercise - Something I force myself to do to rationalise consuming my weight...
If dictionaries were honest: Appraisal - An annual tradition where your manager pretends to care about...
If dictionaries were honest: British Saving Plan - Putting a quid in the jar every time you mutter “sorry”....
If dictionaries were honest: Work - The place where your soul goes to die. Sarcastic phrases and funny...
If dictionaries were honest: Diet - Always starts on Monday. It’s just the rules. Sarcastic phrases and...
If dictionaries were honest: Alright? - The only response is “Alright?” I’m not asking how you are. Funny...
If dictionaries were honest: Family - You are stuck with each other. Deal with it. Funny quotes with...
If dictionaries were honest: Balanced diet - One beer in each hand. Funny definitions everyone can relate...
If dictionaries were honest: Pancake Day - The only day of the year I can eat my weight in pancakes....
If dictionaries were honest: Manager - A person who likes to remind you of all the ways you've managed...
If dictionaries were honest: Appraisal - Where you get more work and responsibility but there is currently...
If dictionaries were honest: Adult Life - Saying to your friends to do something soon and suddenly six...
If dictionaries were honest: Christmas - The time of year to mull everything in sight and eat your weight...
If dictionaries were honest: Job - Where you replace "Fxck you" with "Ok, Perfect". Funny quotes with...
If dictionaries were honest: School - A magical place where every injury from a broken leg to a grazed...
If dictionaries were honest: C.V - Two pages of complete bollocks I asked AI to write for me. Funny quotes...
If dictionaries were honest: Sunday - Tea, Biscuits, Roast Dinner, Sofa. British do love Sundays. Perfect...
If dictionaries were honest: Thanksgiving - A celebratory period where you drink yourself into oblivion...
If dictionaries were honest: Wasp - It’s a British tradition to tell a wasp to bugger off whilst flailing...
If dictionaries were honest: 30°C - So hot it feels like Satans sweaty bollocks. Funny definitions everyone...
If dictionaries were honest: British Identity - 1. Queues.2. Tea.3. Biscuits.4. Sorry. Funny definitions...
If dictionaries were honest: Manager - Someone who is never wrong and blames someone else for everything....
If dictionaries were honest: Brexit - Remove the warning labels from bleach, wait a couple of years,...
If dictionaries were honest: Tongs - It’s mandatory when using tongs that you must click them together...
If dictionaries were honest: Sadness - Brewing a cup of tea and realising you have no milk. Perfect summery...
If dictionaries were honest: British Politeness - When you double up on your politeness because the person...
If dictionaries were honest: Millennial - A generation who according to Boomers can’t buy a house because...
If dictionaries were honest: Family Gathering - A group of people who interrogate you about what you're...
If dictionaries were honest: Holiday - If you are going on holiday there’s a 100% chance someone will...
If dictionaries were honest: Christmas - A festive period where you drink yourself into oblivion while...